“Nothing gives a person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” ~Thomas Jefferson
In nearly every conversation I have with clients, the topic of “the boss” is a constant, usually as an issue. It’s not surprising if you look at what research tells us.
In a recent survey:
- 65% of Americans said they would rather have a new manager, than a raise.
- 75% of Americans cite the boss as the biggest source of stress in the workplace.
- 47% of workers say when stress levels rise, the boss does not stay calm and in control.
Although difficult bosses can be frustrating, they can also be a great learning experience.
The solution to working with a difficult manager is not about changing your manager, though it might be tempting to think you could!
It’s about you being able to communicate your needs and stay, as Jefferson said, cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
The fact of the matter is, you will find difficult people wherever you go. When it’s possible, I believe you’ll find more satisfaction and build more confidence, by learning to handle difficult bosses, than running away from them.
- Because even if you quit and go somewhere else, chances are at some point you’ll find another challenging manager. Remember that 75% number?
- Learning to deal with difficult people, and developing the skill to stay cool and unruffled, while asserting for what you need, is an essential life skill.
- Say some day you chuck it all and go start your own business. Guess what you might find? Difficult people: funders, customers, suppliers, partners, bankers and more.
If you are tempted to cut and run, work on developing a better relationship with your manager.
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- Get clear on the fact that your job is to make your manager successful. Many people resist this, but it’s a fundamental fact of your employment. Let them know you know this. In your next meeting, ask, “What can I do to help you be more successful?”
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- Schedule regular one-on-one meetings. Have weekly or monthly one-on-one meetings to share progress and feedback. Regular communication builds relationship and deepens trust. Create and bring an agenda of the topics you want to cover. Then come prepared to discuss those topics.
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- Ask for what you need. If your manager does things that don’t agree with you, tell them what you need. Instead of saying, “I hate it when you correct me in front of other people,” say something like, “Getting good feedback is important to me. I’ll be able to hear you better, however, if we do that privately, in a one-on-one conversation.”
Building a good relationship with your manager is an essential in your job. Often we overlook this important step when we first come on board. So take the time now to see what you can do, to turn this negative into a positive.
When you manage your relationship with your manager, you’ll be working The Positive Shift!
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