When you go to do something new, different, hard, and you have to struggle to make something happen, here’s 3 concepts to inspire you to keep going.
I remember when the summer Olympics were on a few years back. The elite gymnasts talked about their workout schedules.
They spend over six hours a day, six days a week in the gym. Carbs are practically a foreign concept. Their idea of an indulgent dessert is pistachio nuts.
They compete with thousands of other hopefuls to break into the most elite of sports, training for years upon years for a three-minute routine that will make or break their careers.
Careers, by the way, that are over for most once they pass college age.
All for the chance to stand atop the medal podium and claim the title of world’s best. We love it. And they make it look sooooo easy.
As a culture, we value the shiny object.
The gold medal. The trophy. The winning team.
We focus on the end game. Winning is good. Watching others win makes us feel good.
And, there’s a down side to watching the golden achievements of others: All we see is the golden achievement.
We rarely see the tears, the frustrations, the injuries, or the self-doubt with which these winners inevitably struggle.
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We don’t see the rigor, the self-deprivation, the commitment, or the self-discipline they put out to make that dream happen.
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So when you go to do something new, different, hard; when you have to struggle to make something happen, you might think there’s something wrong with you.
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What is your medal podium?
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I work with people who are trying to do something new: get a new job, change a habit, and figure out how to have a difficult conversation. Their version of the trophy.
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They want to be on the medal stand, metaphorically speaking, for those things. But often they don’t appreciate the hard work, discipline, and frustration it takes before they can get there. And often they will give up when it doesn’t go perfectly the first time, rather than push through.
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Are you working on doing something better? Are you going through a big change that’s difficult and it’s getting you down? Do you want to stretch your muscles and try some new behaviors that, frankly, terrify you?
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Here are three key concepts I’ve learned about struggle.
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I hope they will inspire you to keep going. Because when you find what’s on the other side you’ll be astonished that you ever thought of giving up.
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♦ Struggle is not about weakness.
But we are trained early in life to believe that it is. If you struggle with math, you must not be very smart. But other cultures value and celebrate struggle as an opportunity, a learning edge, and a chance to push the boundaries of problem solving. Reframe how you see struggle.
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♦ Struggle fuels growth.
Struggle is what happens in the place between where you are, and where you want to be. This is the gap, the tension, in which the real seeds of wisdom are planted. Without this part of the journey you’ll miss the learning, the possibilities, and the amazing empowerment that victory brings.
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♦ Struggle deepens your success.
Studies show that the more you struggle, and suffer setback when you’re learning something new, the more likely you are to invoke and apply that information later. It’s called the “Learning Paradox.” Stick with it, even if you don’t feel like it.
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When you are growing, changing, learning, graduating, seeking, beginning, ending, recovering, discovering…. it’s messy.
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You are remodeling you. You will have dust and debris. It will not always be pretty. You will feel consciously incompetent about the new stuff.
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It will take longer than you think and it might require a lot more energy than you budgeted at the beginning.
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But it’ll be worth it. Keep going.
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