In college it may not be a big deal. But what manager in your career will trust you with sensitive information when you’re known as an office gossip?
As a manager, I needed people in my camp who could absolutely keep a secret. These were trusted advisors with whom I could share a confidence, give a heads up on private information, or ask to render an opinion on a sensitive subject, all in a professional context. It’s a fact of organizational life, and my guess is most managers can relate.
Trustworthy team members were those whose opinions I valued, and whose professional demeanor convinced me they were capable of keeping things under wraps when required.
People with whom I would not share a confidence were those who indulged in behavior like, but not limited to, this:
- Initiating or repeating stories about other people, without regard for their veracity
- Promulgating rumor and speculation about workplace information that may or may not be true
- Discussing or attempting to engage others in conversation about salary, bonus or performance review information
- Exhibiting a lack of discretion around information that might be sensitive, or, that is none of their business
All of this falls in the realm of what I call Gossip.
Stay away from the dark side
Gossip is actually proven to be a social bonding agent, and partaking makes us feel a sense of camaraderie. When it’s done with a positive spin, it can be healthy and actually create a shared team experience.
The problem is the dark side. Gossip can harm your reputation if it appears you can’t keep a secret, or if you are known to circulate stories about others to make yourself look better.
When you start a new job, others may want to share inside information or opinions with you right away. Their intention may be honorable; kind of a backhanded “welcome to the team.”
It’s best to redirect these negative conversations and stay out of the gossip morass from the get go.
Three responses to deflect unwanted gossip conversation
As a younger or new employee you may not feel comfortable confronting others who indulge in negative gossip. Here are three statements you can practice to deflect these conversations. They aren’t preachy or pejorative in nature; they just give you a tactic to charmingly disengage.
- Express helplessness. Shrug and say “I can’t help you with that one. Sorry.” Then, smile, and ask an unrelated question to clearly change the subject.
- Establish your personal boundary. “You know, I don’t really like to talk about stuff like that, it’s not really any of my business anyway.” Then ask an unrelated question to change the subject.
- Abort the conversation and leave. “I just realized I have to [jump on a phone call/check on a customer/whatever]. I’ll see you later!”
Three ways you win
By politely disengaging, people will realize you aren’t going to gossip and their invitations to do so will diminish. Master this practice early in your career, and you will build a solid reputation. Here’s how:
- It positions you as a trustworthy young professional with integrity.
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It gives you the opportunity to demonstrate self-leadership with a positive example in the workplace.
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It prepares you to lead people and teams in the future.
Oh yeah, all your future managers (and employees) will thank you!