Even though we draw lines that say, “This is the work day” and “This is my home life” it’s impossible to completely separate the happenings and emotions of one from the other.
If you’ve ever walked in the door after work with a frowny face and a dour mood, you know already that “the stink of a bad day” at work has followed you home. I use to carry it home with me all the time, and my husband would always remind me he could see it!
The emotions you experience at work carry over into the rest of your life. If those feelings happen to be negative, stressful or anxious, you pay a price for that.
Chronic or enduring stress from negative workplace experiences is known to suppress your immune system, and increase your chance of illness. Sustained levels of stress and negative emotion affect your health and well-being, disrupt sleep patterns, zap your energy, and lower your resistance to junk food and sugar (a personal weakness of mine!).
If you have kids, they’re impacted too. David Code, who wrote the book Kids Pick Up On Everything: How Parental Stress Is Toxic To Kids
He posits that the most critical thing that we can conduct to our kids is a sense of calm and the absence of stress. He says this is a gift, which, in fact, may be more powerful than declarations of love. Wow! I’d say it’s not just our kids that would benefit, but our partners, spouses, parents and friends as well.
No matter how you slice it, the workday residue affects your whole life. So, what can we do about it?
The Wheel of Feelings
A few weeks ago my friends at The Muse created a wheel to document how you manage your time throughout the day. It was a simple and color coded way to document when you worked on high priority work, or tended to your own needs with exercise or a walk outside at lunch.
I’ve borrowed on their idea and created a Wheel of Feelings. On this wheel I invite you to document the feelings you experience throughout the day, both at work and at home. I’ve created a starter list below, but maybe you want to rename some colors, or add some additional feelings. For example, “The guy in the next cube is driving me crazy right now – ARGH! is totally legit, if that’s what you’re feeling. Whatever works for you! (You can download your own personal page below.)
The reason I want you to do the Wheel of Feelings exercise is twofold:
- The first step to changing any situation is to understand your starting point. By seeing how you feel throughout the workday, you can start looking at what’s driving that energy, and determine what steps you can take to reduce the stress + negativity both during the day, and after work.
- Secondly, you may think you have no choice in dealing with the frustration you experience at work. Once you recognize it, I challenge you to take another view, and deal with situations to affect different — more positive — outcomes and response to stress. When you do, you’ll regain a sense of empowerment and confidence.
Where are you on the Wheel of Feelings?
Download your Wheel of Feelings here, then document where you are throughout the day on the emotions scale. I’ve created a positive and negative list for you, and you may want to add a few of your own.
Notice how the good – or bad – sensations don’t end when the work day does. Do you find yourself awake in the middle of the night, stressed, or anxious? Are you cranky and short-tempered in the evening?
Likewise, does the positive energy of a great day give you a more peaceful evening at home?
Start by making the connection between your work life and your after-work life. Then you can start doing more of what makes you zen, and take steps to address that negative residue.