Why do we keep doing things we know we shouldn’t?

Breaking the Habit of Email Distraction

 

Are you suffering from email distraction? Here's to kicking the habit!Yesterday I came across a blog called “How to Stop Living in Your Inbox.”

 

It struck me because we have this ongoing conversation about how email is such a huge distraction, how it keeps us from being more productive. We keep talking (me included) about how we use it for everything from procrastination to self-sabotage.

 

Yet we don’t seem to do anything about it. Well, most of us anyway.

 

I know that because people (me included) keep writing articles on how to stop living out of the inbox.

 

What’s the deal?

 

So I wondered. If we know the email distraction is so bad for us, and we know it makes us less productive, and we know it keeps us at work longer, why don’t we just do something about it?

 

Are you compelled to read every “email management” article but still do the same old thing?

 

On one hand, I think about what Zig Ziglar said about motivation, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

 

So overcoming our known tendencies requires daily attention, vis-a-vis bathing.

 

I mean it’s not that we don’t KNOW we shouldn’t live out of our inboxes; but we can’t resist.

 

And we read because a daily (or regular) reminder might shame us into it, perhaps. Or at least take the joy out of us doing so? Maybe if we read enough articles, somehow magically I will wake up and the situation will change.

 

 

Habits, good

 

In a December Forbes article, Psychologist Jeremy Dean said habits are so difficult to break because it is the same capability that helps us do certain things on autopilot, without a lot of conscious thought. “If we didn’t learn to do things automatically, life would be exhausting,” he says.

 

So if we had to think a whole bunch about the brushing of teeth or the making of coffee, we’d barely have any psychic energy left by the time we got to the office. Ergo, habits.

 

Habits, 1  | Conscious Thought, 0

 

Habits bad

 

That same brain wiring that helps us do things on autopilot, also keeps us from changing the nefarious habits we’ve built into our day.

 

The nasty habit we slip into around “living out of our inbox” falls under the same spell. We do it because it doesn’t take much thought or require significant consciousness from us once we start.

 

In a Psychology Today article, they say three proven ways to break a bad habit are (i) get specific about your goal, (ii) embrace the fact it’s going to be hard, and (iii) have a contingency plan for when your willpower breaks down.

 

The last point is a good one. Because the aforementioned Jeremy Dean, says we often tend to overestimate our willpower anyway. Ha! So good thinking to have a plan for when it breaks down!

 

Habits, 0 | Conscious Thought, 1

 

What to do, what to do

 

I started thinking about how I changed habits and I usually talk about this when I’m teaching about how to move ideas into action. It might help you. Or it might not. But here’s how I see it.

 

1. It’s about the mindset.

 

Dictionary.com defines mindset as an intention or inclination. So you could say, “I intend to start flossing my teeth each day.”

 

It’s a teeny shift from a goal statement, which is “the result or achievement toward which effort is directed.” In this case, “My goal is to floss my teeth every day.” Hm. It sounds different, doesn’t it?

 

Maybe it’s because “I have a goal” is a passive statement, whereas “I intend…”, is an active statement.

 

I need clear intention to make something different happen. Intention comes before the goal setting. The goal is an outcome statement. The intention is a “commitment” statement.

 

Listen to the difference if you incorporated this edit into your wedding vows:

  • My goal is to love, honor and cherish you until death us do part.
  • I intend to love, honor and cherish you until death us do part.

 

Which guy/gal would you marry?

 

So let’s get back to the email conundrum, “I intend to get all my A priority work done first, before I open my inbox at 10 am.”

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2. You have to make a decision.

 

The part we often overlook in changing a habit is to make a decision. Making a decision is a personal empowerment element.

 

To decide is to create a sense of leadership in your own life. “I’ve decided that I will no longer use my inbox as a source of procrastination and self-sabotage.”

 

Or even better, “I’ve decided that I am the type of person who does not use my inbox as a source of procrastination and self-sabotage.”

 

Or, “I’ve decided that I am the type of person who focuses on my A game and key priorities, before I take on activities that are less important or that distract me from my most important work.”

 

Deciding to decide can become a good, powerful, habit in and of itself. Think of how many times you do something in a day where you don’t make a conscious decision.

 

Deciding overrides all those autopilot patterns. You distinguish between the elements that are within your conscious control, and those that you can delegate to autopilot so your brain doesn’t explode. Maybe delegate a little less to the pilot.

 

If you were working out you’d probably call this “muscle confusion.” Mix up the conscious and unconscious patterns. It’ll keep your mind guessing.

 

3. Take action.

 

Finally you take the intention and the decision, and you craft action. If you have good intentions and make good decisions, the action becomes much easier. Well let’s say it becomes much more aligned. You’ll know what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and the benefit you get as a result.

 

Now, you check in and do your A priority work, because that’s the type of person you intend yourself to be. It’s the type of person you have decided to be.

 

 

But what about you?

 

Ok, so what do you think? What’s worked for you? What keeps you from succeeding?

 

I’d love to hear your experiences because I want to share ideas that create and promote success. Because ultimately I want you to feel good about the work you do, and empowered by the decisions you make, each and every day.

 

Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

 

When you set intentions, make decisions and take action, you are working The Positive Shift!

 

 

6 comments

  1. LeaMcLeod The key to getting rid of bad habits is to figure out how to replace them with good habits. Keep the word “NOT” out of it.

  2. Michael_Kubica good point. They say the more we use not, the more we focus on the wrong behavior!

  3. Many habits begin as rituals – something we do over and over on purpose. When it becomes automatic, then we call it a habit. So using that as leverage, to break bad habits or create new good ones, I institute a ritual and I actually put it on my schedule as an appointment, so I have a good likelihood of following through.
     
    I wanted to create a habit of giving my employees positive feedback (something many of us don’t do very well), so I have a standing appointment on Friday afternoon to “high five” my employees with a written note, a casual compliment, or even a small reward for something they did well that week.
     
    It’s still a ritual since I do need that calendar reminder some weeks. But if you asked my employees, they would probably say it’s one of my good habits, because that’s the way they experience it.

  4. Habitual behaviors not only free up mental capacity, they often give you a reward – psychic or actual. There’s a Skinnerian conditioning element. To replace an old habit with a new behavior, it would help if you overtly identify what reward you’ll get from the new behavior.
     
    So every time I finish doing my A priority items before I read email, I could stop for a moment and acknowledge everything I just accomplished. Go me!

  5. Yes, Debra! GO YOU!!! i agree, there has to be someting “more”, a benefit to change. For me, it’s always: LEAVE WORK ON TIME! or before! The better I do, the more time I have. Go me, too!

  6. That’s a great story Mark, thanks for sharing! I like the idea of “scheduling” a habit change, I might try that one. And I like the idea of ritual, the word has weight and consequence.
     
    I am working on really divesting myself of the things I don’t need to be doing in my business, or that I can delegate to someone else. So it is taking a bit of rewiring and that is challenging, and interesting, and certainly doable.
     
    Your employees are lucky to have you as a manager!

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