You don’t like it. But it’s so good for you.

You will never be entirely comfortable. This is the truth behind the champion – he is always fighting something. To do otherwise is to settle.  ~Julien Smith

 

One of the hardest things at work is to not feel like you are doing something amazingly well.

 

I see it when clients are trying to change a situation at work. They want it to be easy. They get discouraged when they try something, don’t do it perfectly, and then have to work through it again.

 

I see it with job search clients. They want to submit an application online and get a job offer.  

 

I see it when kids watch the Olympics, or the NBA Finals, and they think the medal podium or the trophy is a scant distance from their daydreams on the school playground.

 

Have you ever renovated your home?

 

If so, then you’ll know on your way to having a more beautiful kitchen, the process doesn’t look so pretty. Often, it takes more time than you expect. Frequently it costs more than you budgeted.

 

When we remodeled the kitchen recently I was so sick of the never-ending process, I wondered if I would actually LIKE the room by the time it was done. I thought maybe the newness and excitement would be lost in the difficulty and frustration of the process.

 

It wasn’t.

 

When the work was done, I loved it. It was totally worth it.

 

The same is true for you.

 

I work with people who are trying to do something new: build better relationships, confront their boss, better manage their time, master a critical skill set, advocate for what they need, change a habit, develop a new technique, and more.

 

They want to be on the medal stand. But often they don’t appreciate the hard work, discipline, and frustration it takes before they can get there.

 

As a culture, we value the shiny object. The gold medal. The trophy.

 

We relish the end game. So it’s not surprising that when you have to struggle to make something happen, you think there’s something wrong with you.

 

But there’s not. Struggle is an essential part of the personal renovation process. We just don’t talk about it as much. We don’t honor struggle as much as we honor the victory.

 

And it’s unfortunate.

 

Because without the struggle, there wouldn’t be victory.

 

Ask anyone, anywhere, who at any time, worked to make something great happen. It is never easy.

 

Are you going through a personal renovation?

 

Are you working on doing something better, differently, new? Are you going through a big change that’s difficult and it’s getting you down?

 

Here are three things to know about the struggle of learning something new. I hope it will inspire you to keep going. Because when you find what’s on the other side you’ll be astonished that you ever thought of giving up.  

 

1. Learning is not the same as being week. But we are trained early in life to believe that it is. If you struggle with algebra, you must not be very smart. Other cultures value and celebrate struggle as an opportunity, a learning edge, and a chance to push the boundaries of problem solving. Reframe how you see struggle.
    
2. The pain of learning fuels growth. Struggle fills the space between where you are, and where you want to be. Think of the saying, “If it hurts, you must be learning.” How true is that? Without this part of the journey you’ll miss the learning, the possibilities, and the amazing empowerment that victory brings.
    
3. Tussling with the learning process will bring you deeper success. Studies show that the more you struggle, and suffer setback when you’re learning something new, the more likely you are to invoke and apply that information later. It’s called the “Learning Paradox.” No, it’s not comfortable. Or fun. But neither is driving a car for the first time, or learning to ride a bike. But it’s likely you now do both of those with very little thought to each step of the process.
   

 

When you are growing, changing, learning, graduating, seeking, beginning, ending, recovering, discovering…. it’s messy.

 

You are remodeling you. You will have dust and debris. It will not always be pretty. You will feel consciously incompetent about the new stuff.

 

It will take longer than you think and it might require a lot more energy than you budgeted at the beginning.

 

But it’ll be worth it. Keep going.

 

What are you struggling with this week? Leave a comment below and let me know what your challenge is and what’s frustrating you about the process!

 

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